This guide has been developed to equip volunteers with the knowledge and skills needed to support individuals and families affected by cycling fatalities and serious injuries. The aftermath of such tragedies presents unique challenges that combine grief, trauma, and often complex practical and legal matters.
As a volunteer, your compassionate presence can make a profound difference during what may be the most difficult time in someone's life. However, supporting people through grief and trauma requires more than good intentions. It demands patience, emotional intelligence, and specific skills that allow you to remain present with intense emotions without becoming overwhelmed yourself.
This guide offers scenarios you may encounter, sample responses, practical tips, and important considerations for each situation. Remember that every person's experience is unique, and there is no perfect script to follow. Your authentic presence, willingness to listen without judgment, and commitment to meeting people where they are will be your most valuable tools.
The cycling community is unfortunately no stranger to tragedy. By offering informed support to those affected, you not only help individuals navigate their grief journey but also strengthen our community's resilience and capacity to care for one another in times of crisis.
Visit the Family Outreach Guide for advice on reaching out to families
Emotion: The person feels deep sadness and is struggling to cope with the absence of their loved one.
"I'm so sorry you're going through this. Losing someone you love so much is one of the hardest things anyone can face, and it's okay to feel like the world has stopped. You don't have to carry this alone. Sometimes, talking about your loved one—their favorite memories, the ways they made you smile—can bring a bit of light into the pain. I'm here to listen, to sit with you in this, or to help you find the kind of support you need right now."
Emotion: The person is angry at the circumstances, the driver, the system, or even their loved one for leaving them.
"It's okay to feel angry. What happened is unfair, and your emotions make perfect sense. Grief isn't just sadness—it can be frustration, helplessness, and even rage at the injustice of it all. You're allowed to feel all of it. Sometimes, talking about what's causing that anger or finding ways to express it—like journaling, creating something, or channeling it into advocacy—can help. If you want, I can be here to talk it through or help you take that first step."
Emotion: The person feels detached, emotionally numb, or unable to process the loss.
"I hear you, and I want you to know that feeling numb doesn't mean you don't care or that your grief is any less real. Sometimes, when the pain is so big, our hearts and minds protect us by shutting down for a while. There's no timeline for when or how you'll start to feel again—what matters is that you give yourself grace and patience. If you're open to it, we could try something small, like breathing together or talking about anything that feels comforting right now. I'm here for you however you need."
Emotion: The person blames themselves for what happened, wondering if they could have prevented it.
"I notice you're carrying a lot of responsibility for what happened. In these terrible situations, it's so common to replay events and wonder 'what if.' But the truth is that you made the best decisions you could with the information you had at the time. This accident wasn't your fault. Would it help to talk through some of these thoughts? Sometimes when we speak them aloud, we can start to see them more clearly."
Emotion: The person experiences intense anxiety about their own safety or the safety of other loved ones.
"It makes complete sense that you feel anxious after such a traumatic event. When something so unexpected and devastating happens, it can shake our sense of safety in the world. Many people experience similar fears. Let's talk about what specifically feels most frightening right now, and perhaps we can find some small steps that might help you feel a bit more grounded when those worries come up."
Emotion: The person feels completely overwhelmed by practical matters (funeral arrangements, insurance, legal proceedings, medical decisions).
"It's incredibly unfair that on top of your emotional pain, you're facing all these complex practical matters. Many people in your situation feel similarly overwhelmed, and that's completely understandable. Let's break this down into smaller pieces. What's the most pressing concern right now? We can focus just on that first step, and I can help you find resources for the rest when you're ready."
Emotion: The person struggles with their changed identity (no longer a spouse, parent, or in the case of injured survivors, no longer able-bodied).
"You've experienced not just the loss of someone you love, but also a profound change in how you see yourself and your future. That's an enormous adjustment. The relationship and life you had can never be replaced, but over time, many people find they can create new meaning while still honoring what was lost. What aspects of this change feel most difficult right now?"
Practice self-care: Supporting people through trauma and grief is emotionally taxing. Ensure you have your own support system and supervision.
Maintain appropriate boundaries: Be compassionate without taking on their pain as your own. Know when to step back or refer to other resources.
Follow up consistently: Brief check-ins over time often mean more than intensive support only in the immediate aftermath.
Recognize cultural differences: Grief expressions and needs vary widely across cultural backgrounds. Ask about important cultural considerations.
Stay educated: Familiarize yourself with the latest understanding of traumatic grief, cycling advocacy resources, and victim support services.